A BROKEN GIRL’S JOURNEY 3 (A BROKEN GIRL'S JOURNEY) Read online

  “It’s okay baby cousin you will beat this lupus like everything else in your life and believe me I will be there to help you. I'm gone make sure that the doctor I work for takes over your care from now on. As a matter of fact you coming to work with me in in 4 hours at 8 am when the office opens to be seen,”

  “Its always something,” Lakea cried as she looked around her room still splattered in blood.

  “Every time things get better some bullshit comes along,” Lakea sobbed.

  “Its gone work out though baby cousin, I got you!” Mesha said hugging her cousin.

  “Get me out of here. I can't sleep in this shit.” Lakea sobbed as Sheka and Mesha helped her up off of the bed and out of her bedroom.

  Lakea and Mesha went to a hotel that night. Lakea cried for hours thinking about all of the terrible things that continued to go wrong in her life. Just before the sun came up Mesha gave her three pills and she drifted off to sleep. Sheka and her doctor friend woke Lakea up at about 9 a.m.

  “I called the room about 20 times and got no answer so we just came over,” Sheka said turning on the light in Lakea's room.

  “This is Doctor Bruce,” Sheka said pulling back the covers on Lakea as she squinted her eyes to see.

  Dr. Bruce was a short Asian man about 36 or 37 years old. He was handsome and had a very warm smile.

  “Hi Lakea, I'm Dr. Bruce. I’m just going to look you over. Okay?” He said taking his stethoscope out of his bag.

  Lakea shook her head yes and closed her eyes as Dr. Bruce took her vital signs. After a short vaginal examination Dr. Bruce confirmed that there was some minor tearing done by the handle of the wooden spoon and he prescribed some more pain pills and antibiotics.

  “Apply ice packs to the swelling as needed,” Dr. Bruce said as he packed his equipment up and prepared to leave.

  “Thank you Dr Bruce,” Lakea said settling back into bed.

  “Any time sweet heart, any family of Sheka is my family too,” He said as he walked to the door giving Sheka a seductive look.

  “You just focus on getting well. I have spoke to the specialist this morning and she will be by here today. I would also recommend that you start back seeing Dr. Roth.You need to speak to a professional about all of the tragic events that have happened, to help you better deal with it all.” Dr Bruce said with compassion.

  Lakea rolled her eyes. She thought that part of her life was over too, but she knew Dr. Bruce was right. She did need help with those feelings and emotions. Dr. Bruce could see Lakea's resistance in her facial expressions so he came back into the room.

  “Will you please give it a chance?” Dr Bruce pleaded while holding her hand.

  Lakea shook her head yes and Dr. Bruce smiled.

  “Okay, its settled then. Sheka I will see you back in the office,” Dr. Bruce said winking at Sheka before leaving the room.

  “Bitch, you fucking him?” Lakea asked Sheka after Dr. Bruce left the room and she still stood there staring in the spot he was standing in.

  “Yo ass in love with Jackie Chan nephew!” Lakea said laughing.

  “Hell yea! Ain't he fine?” Sheka said laughing with her cousin.

  For a split second Lakea forgot about her current situation. Just then Ray-Ray and Quan walked in the room and it all came back to her.

  “Wasup y'all?” Quan said coming into the room pushing Sheka and kissing Lakea on the head before he sat in the chair next to the bed.

  “Hey Sheka, hey sis,” Ray-Ray said kissing Sheka on the head and then Lakea.

  He looked over to the other bed to see Mesha laying on the bed knocked out, slobbing with her mouth open and shook his head.

  “Hey brothers,” Lakea said looking from Ray-Ray to Quan.

  Both of them had a faraway look in their eyes. Lakea knew that the creep would never be found and that the whole thing was finally over, at least for the time being.

  “I handled everything lil sis so just put it out of your mind. I promised you I would never let anyone hurt you again and if I can, I will never go back on that promise.” Ray-Ray said looking at his sister with tears in his eyes.

  He still carried around so much guilt because he wasn't able to stop Jeff from hurting her.

  “I had the cleaner we used to use after jobs in LMG to come clean the house. Its better than before, so now you can go home,”

  Lakea felt relieved that it was over, but she didn't know how she would go back home and sleep in that bed, in that room.

  “Ooh, you had two phone calls. One was the specialist, she said she coming here to the room this morning to discuss your results. The other call was your job. That fat bitch was mad even after I told her you was sick and under doctor's care.” Ray-Ray said looking at his sister.

  Lakea buried her face in her hands. She knew that she was fired or close to it. She needed that little job, especially since she didn't plan on going back to the club. Everything that could go wrong was. Lakea began to sob so hard that her whole body shook. Her brothers were there in an instant holding her and reassuring her that everything would be alright.

  “Don't worry lil sis.” Ray-Ray said. “I make enough to cover most of the bills and I will hustle to get the rest,”

  “And I been doing pictures and videos for folks in the hood trying to get my college money up.” Quan added. “I got about $4,000 saved so I can help out with that.”

  Lakea shook her head no, but her brothers insisted on helping.

  “Everything going to be alright. Now rest.” Ray-Ray said tucking the covers around his little sister. “We will be back later!”

  He and Quan kissed their sister goodbye and left the room.

  “I'm staying with you until the specialist leaves, since Mesha ass dead to the world.” Sheka said walking to the other side of the room and kicking the bed Mesha was sleeping on.

  She didn't move, only mumbled and smack her lips. Lakea and Sheka laughed.

  “Girl let me go outside and call Dr. Big Dick..., I mean Dr. Bruce and let him know what's going on.” Sheka said as she and Lakea burst out laughing again as she left the room.

  Lakea lay there, alone except for the sleeping Mesha next to her, and thought about her life. She thought about how she how she had been abused and let down by so many people she loved, how an insignificant person had cause so much destruction in her life, and how she lost all of the people who loved her the most.

  Lakea wept silently, tears wetting her pillow until she drifted off into a deep sleep. She was awakened by the sound of the specialist and Sheka entering the room.

  “I'm so glad you could come girl, and I'm glad they sent you. Somebody I know,” Sheka said standing next to Lakea as her eyelids fluttered open.

  “Hey baby cousin. They is Dr. Williams and she is a rheumatologist.”

  Lakea focused her eyes and stared up at the tall, cocoa skinned, thin female doctor standing in front of her. Dr. Williams had warm, friendly dark brown eyes and a bright smile.

  “Hi Lakea. I'm a rheumatologist who treats conditions like lupus and I am here to discuss your test results and treatment options with you.”

  Lakea closed her eyes as a tear fell down her face. Another sad chapter of her life was about to begin. Like her childhood and the rest of her life she would have to fight, only now the fight would be to stay alive, and with a less pain as possible.

  Chapter 3

  After about two hours of discussing Lakea's condition, Dr. Williams revealed that Lakea had systematic lupus erythematosus, in which her immune system was attacking and damaging healthy body parts like her joints, kidneys, and blood vessels, and possibly other major organs like her brain, heart, and lungs.

  “I will get with Dr. Bruce, assess your medical records, and try to get a treatment planned developed for you immediately, which will include Dr. Bruce, a neurologist, and myself. We're also going to have to run some more tests to see how much damage had been done to your organs among other things. In the meantime I am giving you some medication for
the swelling, something to prevent the damage in your joints, and another one to prevent your flares.”

  Lakea began to sob again and Dr. Williams grabbed her hand.

  “Hey, its going to be okay sweetie. I have lupus too, and from what I have heard you are a very strong girl who can overcome anything. It is possible to live a pain free and relatively healthy life, its just going to take a little work and we have to do it together. Okay?” Dr Williams asked and Lakea shook her head yes.

  “Good then.” Dr Williams said and as she stood to leave. “See you soon honey and stay strong.”

  As soon as Sheka and Dr Williams left Lakea lay there staring up at the ceiling still thinking about her life. Her life was just one big horror story, one tragedy after the next. She had already endured so much pain in her short lifetime she wondered how it could ever get better. She was only 20 and had experienced enough pain and sorrow for three people's lifetime, and now she would have to take meds everyday and live within a body that was trying to destroy her. Lakea wondered would she always be broken. She didn't want to be, just like she didn't want to be sad or in pain anymore. She was tired of it all, tired of feeling sorrow for herself all of the time. At that moment Lakea felt a boost of energy as she pulled herself into a sitting position. It was time for her to snap back, at least for her son and nephews sake. She had to forget about all she had been through and get back to life.

  By the time Sheka came back into the room Lakea was up out of bed, had woke Mesha up who was now just laying on the bed staring, and she was standing in the bathroom mirror staring at her face. The multiple punches the creep had delivered to her face and head left her battered and bruised. She had a black eye the size of a baseball and numerous cuts and bruises all over her face. Lucky for her the creep didn't have much power behind his punches or she may have had a concussion or been dead. It was lucky for him she was sick when he attacked her or she would have beat him to death her damn self.

  “That crazy muthafucka fucked up my face Sheka,” Lakea said running her fingers over her left cheek which had the cut she got in the fight at the club in Saginaw.

  “I already had this, and now another one,” Lakea said as she touch the similar gash the creep had left under her right eye.

  “Oh baby, you are still beautiful,” Mesha said walking into the bathroom and rubbing Lakea's hair.

  “I know right she still a damn dime. That ain't nothing makeup won't cover,” Sheka said smiling at her cousin through the mirror.

  Lakea faked a weak smile as she left the bathroom. She really didn't feel pretty and she didn't know when that confidence would come back again. She didn't feel beautiful or worthy of being loved by anyone other than her close family. Those who had to love her.

  “Okay cousins,” Lakea said to Sheka and Mesha as they followed her back into the room telling her how beautiful she still was.

  “I hear y'all and maybe one day I can believe it, but today is not that day. I just want to go home. I need to see my babies,” Lakea said opening the door to leave the room as the sun shone down on her like God's smile.

  He was giving her strength.

  “They good cousin.They at your house with your mama, waiting on you,” Sheka said and she and Mesha left the room behind Lakea.

  Lakea closed her eyes in the car and let the music soother her aching heart. She was headed home to the love of her babies, and to the next tragedy in her life.

  When Lakea arrived home she was so happy to see her son and nephews that she couldn't stop the tears from flowing. She hugged her mother Felicia at the door and looked into her eyes before she disappeared into the living room to give her time with the boys alone. J-J ran straight into her arms yelling, “Mama”, as she covered his little face in kisses. Lakea really loved her son and she was mad at herself for being so concerned with money that she was neglecting his needs and happiness. Ray-Jay waited patiently until Lakea sat J-J down and then he ran into her arms hugging her and telling her how much he loved her. He loved his auntie so much because she was more like a mother since he didn't remember his own.

  “You okay Te-Te?” Ray-Jay asked touching Lakea's eye.

  “Who hurt you Te-Te? I will kick they butt,” Ray-Jay said with tears welling up in his big brown eyes.

  “Your Te-Te is okay.” Lakea said hugging him close to her.

  She wasn't okay then, but she would be...eventually. Lakea played with the boys for a while, just admiring their little faces, their already close bond, and how smart they were. She hugged Rahiem's little body close and inhaled his baby scent. After a while Lakea put the boys down for a nap and went into the living room to talk to her mama. Felicia hugged Lakea tight again as she entered the room and kissed her on the cheek while inspecting all of the bruises on her face.

  “Are you okay?” Felicia asked her daughter as tears fell from her eyes.

  Lakea shook her head yes as she and her mama sat down on the couch. Lakea rested her head on her mama's shoulder like she used to do when she was a little girl.

  “Look baby I ain't gone tell you how to run your life because I think I lost those privileges a long time ago. But know that these streets don't love nobody and they will eat yo ass up! I know that a lot of the fucked up decisions that you are making is my fault, but baby know that my tragedies, struggles, and failures do not have to be yours,” Felicia said staring into her daughter's eyes as tears ran down both of their faces.

  “Let go of all of the hurt and anger baby, and get back to being you. Get back to writing your songs. You were really good!” Felicia insisted.

  Lakea shook her head in protest, but Felicia grabbed her chin making her face her.

  “Yes, you are an excellent writer and you can be successful at it you just have to realize that you are deserving of happiness,” Felicia said smiling through her tears.

  “I love you baby and I am so sorry for everything I have and haven't done. Forgive me baby and let the hurt go, for your sake and that of your babies,” Felicia said as the tears fell from her eyes.

  Lakea hugged her mama tight as tears fell from her eyes too.

  “I have been forgave you mama and I love you too!” Lakea whispered in Felicia's ear.

  “I'm going to try to do better mama, I promise.” Lakea said as she hugged her mama.

  They talked a little while longer about all that had happened. At the end of their conversation Lakea felt as close to her mama as she had in a long time. It was a good feeling.

  After the talk with her mama, Lakea had built up the courage she needed to return to her bedroom. Just like Ray-Ray had said, everything was back to normal. Lakea slowly walked over to her king sized bed, which was now stripped of all of the bloody and torn linen. Lakea stood there staring at the spot she was tied up in and thought about how she almost lost her life less than 24 hours before. She could still smell the stench of sex in the air. It was the same smell she had woke up to when the creep bust through her bedroom door naked. Lakea felt her stomach churn and she began to get dizzy. She quickly rushed over to the window beside her bed and opened it, deeply inhaling the fresh air.

  “I can do this, I can do this!”

  She kept repeating to herself until her hands stopped shaking and she felt the calm return to her body. Lakea couldn’t understand why she was so upset. It wasn't like she hadn't seen a dead body before or been sexually assaulted for that matter. She had already experienced tragedy after tragedy and not reacted this way. This situation was different though. It was more real now because she had little one's whose lives were depending on her. She knew that if anything happened to her everything would fall apart.

  Lakea glanced at the picture of her and Jeremy hanging over her bed. She could feel his love and energy as she stared at the picture. It was if Jeremy was telling her it would be okay and giving her the strength she needed to get through everything that was about to come her way. Just then Lakea remembered something her grandma Mo always told her.

  ‘God only give more str
uggles to his strongest soldiers’, ran in her head. Lakea knew that had to be true. It had to be, she needed it to be. As Lakea got up the strength to sit on her bed again the phone rang. She looked at the caller ID on the cordless phone sitting on the nightstand beside her bed and sighed. It was the general manager at her job Ms. Martha. The mean fat bitch Ray-Ray was talking about when he said her job called. Lakea took a deep breath before she pushed the talk button to answer the call. She could hear Ms. Martha yelling before she even put the phone up to her face.

  Chapter 4

  “Lakea have you lost your mind?” Ms. Martha yelled as Lakea mean mugged the phone in her hand.

  Lakea was really tired of the verbal abuse she had to endure from Ms Martha's short, fat, angry ass. She was fed up with all of the bullshit hours, pay cuts, and everything else that came along with the job. She had decided that she would work on her music, spend more time with the boys, and make a way to pay her bills the best she could with or without the job.